Get out of hand

Out of hand

“Get out of hand” is an expression we use when something becomes difficult or impossible to control. It can refer to situations that start out manageable , but then escalate , and become overwhelming .

We use “things are getting out of hand” to describe discomfort or nervousness around the situation. We don’t use “get out of hand” for things that are tragic or that are very serious.

Situation escalating beyond control

The most common way to use “get out of hand” is when a situation escalates beyond your control . You start to get uncomfortable or a little nervous . And it’s typically because of things people are doing.

So imagine you’re at a casual gathering with friends, and a friendly debate about the two local sports teams begins. The discussion starts as a lighthearted conversation , with some good-natured , competitive comments. But a discussion like that can quickly get out of hand.

What would it mean for a discussion about sports teams to get out of hand? Maybe some people would get offended —they wouldn’t think some of the jokes were funny. Maybe some people would raise their voices . Maybe their comments would start being less friendly , more pointed . Maybe then there would be some pushing and shoving .

That’s getting out of hand. So when things start to get out of hand, you want step in , try to control the situation, calm people down .

It’s not just in social situations. In the United States, people like to think politics is aggressive . If a congressman interrupts a speaker in the House of Representatives, or makes a derogatory comment , or raises his voice , then we would say things are getting out of hand.

But that’s nothing compared to what sometimes happens elsewhere . Here’s one example. In Turkey just recently, a brawl broke out in parliament . There was punching and blood splattered on the white background of the speaker’s podium. Now that’s really out of hand.

I don’t mean to minimize the points that were being debated. But pushing, shoving, punching, maybe a little blood—this is out of hand. It’s hard to control. But again, nobody got killed. It’s not a war. So we can use “out of hand” in this case.

Behavior becoming unmanageable

Things can sometimes get out of hand with kids. That won’t come as a surprise to the parents out there.

Some kids are always well-behaved . They’re in control of their actions. They don’t let situations get out of hand.

But a lot of times with kids, especially groups of kids, the situation can go from calm to chaotic pretty quickly. Things can get out of hand if you’re not careful.

Imagine you’re hosting a birthday party for a group of energetic six-year-olds. And it’s at a local park.

At first , everything’s going smoothly —they’re playing games, eating cake, having fun. But then some wander off to play a game in the fields nearby. And soon, you see some kids getting near the street. You turn your head and you see some other kids trying to catch a frog in the pond —and their clothes are a mess . It’s hard to keep track of everyone . Things are getting out of hand.

It’s not really dangerous . It’s not bad. But things are getting out of hand. It’s the adults’ job now to step in, get people under control, count everyone, make sure nobody’s missing, all that stuff. When things get out of hand, you have to step in and bring the situation back under control .

Projects or tasks becoming overwhelming

Another way things can get out of hand is when a project or task becomes overwhelming . Imagine you’ve taken on the responsibility of organizing a charity event . When you began, everything seemed straightforward : you just needed to secure a venue , arrange catering , and invite guests . Sounds easy right? But as the date crept closer , more and more tasks kept popping up . Suddenly, you were dealing with last-minute changes , unexpected costs , and volunteers who weren’t showing up when they were needed.

The project got out of hand. It was hard for you to control.

Not for very serious situations

Just a reminder as we wrap up . When a situation is “getting out of hand,” it’s not a crisis . These are situations where you’re starting to lose control, it’s not looking good, but it’s not a crisis. Some pushing and shoving—that’s getting out of hand. Maybe a punch thrown —that’s out of hand. Kids running around where they shouldn’t be going, clothes covered in mud —that’s out of hand. We’re not talking about very serious situations , not talking about wars, kidnapping , death , tragedies , things like that.

If something really bad happens—if someone winds up in the hospital , say , or if a house burns down —you cannot—I repeat cannot—say “things got out of hand.”

Because “get out of hand” is what we use when things are a little bit out of control. If someone has to go to the hospital after a fight, and if you say “things got a little out of hand,” then what you would be doing is, you’d be minimizing the seriousness of the situation. And you don’t want to do that.

So make sure to use this only for situations that are not too serious .