Life lessons from 25 years of Judge Judy

It’s time to learn some life lessons from Judge Judy

Lesson summary

Hi there, this is Lesson number 389 of Plain English, where we help you upgrade your English skills with current events and trending topics. It’s Thursday, August 12, 2021. I’m Jeff. JR is the producer. The full lesson is available at PlainEnglish.com/389.

Coming up today: Another television lesson, this time about the highest-paid daytime television personality in the United States, “Judge” Judy Sheindlin. Every weekday, she dishes out no-nonsense justice, settling real disagreements ranging from stolen property to family disputes and even car repair bills. Her long-running television show is ending this September, that’s next month, but her legacy of giving no-nonsense life advice will endure via reruns for years to come. And in today’s lesson, we’ll talk about some of the life advice the Brooklyn-born television judge has dispensed over the years .

Life lessons from ‘Judge Judy’

“Judge Judy” is an American daytime courtroom television show featuring a robed Judy Sheindlin dishing out her signature no-nonsense brand of New York-style “justice” (I put that in air quotes). Each weekday afternoon, about ten million Americans watch the television judge settle small disputes about stolen property , damaged property , unpaid loans , misbehaving pets , landlord-tenant disputes , co-signed agreements , medical bills, and much more.

Judy Sheindlin isn’t a judge, not anymore. She was a prosecutor in New York and became a family court judge in 1982, retiring in 1996. That’s when, at age 52, she started a television show in which she plays a judge settling real cases. Although she dresses and talks like a judge, and although the set is designed like a courtroom, she is really an arbitrator .

In the U.S., two parties that have a dispute may choose to go to court, which can be a slow, expensive , and unsatisfying process, or they may choose to go to arbitration . If they choose arbitration, they both agree to appear before a neutral arbitrator who hears both sides of the story and settles the dispute. If they go this route, both sides are required to abide by the final decision of the arbitrator. That’s what Judge Judy is, she’s an arbitrator.

She is also America’s highest-paid television celebrity, pulling in $45 million per year from the American television network CBS. According to legend , she would have dinner every three years with the president of the network, where she would hand him an envelope with her new salary, and the new salaries of her top staff. She didn’t ask what she would be paid, she told him what she and her team would earn. A few years ago, she sold the rights to all of her previous episodes—twenty-five years’ worth—to CBS for over $100 million. But the last new episode of Judge Judy will be aired in September.

In her quarter of a century settling disputes between people, Judge Judy has given some good advice on how not to wind up on her show, or in a real courtroom for that matter. So, let’s learn some life lessons from 25 years of Judge Judy, starting with two lessons specifically for women.

First, women should have a path to financial independence . Judge Judy doesn’t mind if women don’t work, if they stay home and raise kids and care for their families. But she believes that they need a backup plan and a way to be financially stable if their marriage doesn’t last. She thinks that too many women put themselves in a position where they don’t have marketable job skills , so they’re forever dependent on the men in their lives. “If you’re not prepared, then you’re stuck ,” she says. And that’s how women let men take advantage of them .

Women, Judge Judy says, need to get smart and stop making poor decisions because of how they’ll be perceived . She wrote a book called “ Beauty Fades , Dumb is Forever.” She thinks that women hide who they really are, don’t pursue their true talents , and let others take credit for their own ideas and accomplishments , all because they’re trying to please other people instead of making themselves happy.

The next piece of Judy’s advice: don’t lend money to family or friends. So many cases on the show are about loans and gifts. One person gives another money; the giver thinks it’s a loan to be repaid , but the receiver thinks it’s a gift . Lending or giving money between friends or family inevitably leads to fighting and disputes, so Judge Judy advises against it . She famously says that the moment a relationship ends, a gift becomes a loan. But if you must lend or give money, write out the terms of the agreement so that both sides understand.

That leads to a related piece of advice: get it in writing. It doesn’t matter what “it” is. If you buy something for cash, get a written receipt . That way, the seller can never say he was just lending it to you, or that you stole it. If you rent an apartment, take before and after photos so that you know and can prove the condition of the property when you got it. If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend put down a deposit on a car , say exactly who’s paying what, and what happens to the car if you break up. Get it in writing!

Next bit of advice: be prepared with a good answer. When Judge Judy asks you a question, you’d better be prepared to answer her. If you don’t have an answer, she’s merciless . “‘Ummm’ is not an answer,” she famously tells tongue-tied litigants on her show. That’s good advice for any high-pressure situation. If it’s important to you, think about the questions that you might be asked and how you would answer them, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Because it’s much better to practice answering an embarrassing question than to have to think of an answer on the spot .

The last piece of financial advice: if it has your name on it, you’re responsible for it. So many people co-sign loans , give out credit cards, let others join their cell phone plan, share apartment leases, whatever, and then they’re surprised when they have to pay up . Judge Judy’s advice is: you can do all that, but just be aware that if your name is on something, you’re responsible for the bill if the situation goes south .

Finally, and this is a more optimistic message: It’s never too late to start something new. Judge Judy started her television show at age 52. She started a whole new career, in a new industry, and became the very, very best at what she did. She started it all after age 50. She said she has a passion for law, she never gives up , and she believes that she’s just as good as anyone else. She once told an interviewer that if you don’t find the success you want in your 20s, you can find it in your 30s. And if things don’t work out in your 30s, you have your 40s, and so on .

Typical ‘Judge Judy’ cases

I’m just going to read you some brief episode descriptions of Judge Judy. Here we go. “Buyer and seller dispute whether a designer handbag is real.”

“A woman says her ex-boyfriend vandalized her car and posted risqué photos of her online.”

“Buyers and sellers argue over a deposit placed on a vehicle.”

“A man sues his former girlfriend for the return of a washer and dryer.”

“A teenager’s mother says it’s not her responsibility to fix the ATV he borrowed and wrecked.” (An ATV is like a four-wheel off-road vehicle, but it’s not a car. So the teenager borrowed it, wrecked it, and now wants his mom to fix it. Mom says no way.)

A couple more: “a decision by high-school friends to move in together ends in threats and violence .”

“Mothers and daughters feud over a crashed car , a trashed room , a missing laptop, pain and suffering.”

“Attempted dog abduction .”

That was a funny one: I saw a clip of that episode. Two people were arguing over who a dog belonged to . Each side, a man and a woman, both said the dog was theirs. They both had documentary evidence to prove their case. One of them had a veterinary bill ; I forget what the other one had. So Judge Judy has someone bring the dog into the courtroom: she’s going to run an experiment. “Put the dog down” she tells the person holding the pet. “Put the dog down,” she says over and over in her New York accent. The handler puts the dog on the floor. The dog runs up to the man, looking for love and hugs, ignoring the woman as she looks on in disbelief . “You can take your dog home, sir,” Judge Judy says, banging her gavel . And the show is over.